Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
