OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
