you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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