I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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