even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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