God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
