well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
