I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
