How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
only if we run a train.
done.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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