apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
