Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
