i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
