U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
