I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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