We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize