I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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