he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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