I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
