And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
