dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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