After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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