your thong is hanging out like whoa
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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