Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
