We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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