I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
