I hate all girls vehemently.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
did i walk over a car last night?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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