Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
