Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
