Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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