if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
