hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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