You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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