her vagine was all disorganized.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
not ubering you a puppy
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
