butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
