He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
