my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
