Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I am naked and annoyed.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
