ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
