Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
