you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
