He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
