Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
