I hate your face
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
