A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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