Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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