imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
