I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
