The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
