false alarm. still invincible.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
