i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
