we have officially mastered the walk of shame
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
